Wanna Get High? Go To Detox!

Detox was in no way, shape or form detoxifying! Here's how detox works they get you checked in and they take your cell phone, let you keep your cigarettes and point you to their in house drug dealer.


I'll be perfectly honest I have no idea what drugs they actually gave me, but they got me more wasted then drinking ever did and after their first round of meds I decided to pass on the next, as I needed to keep my wits about me if I was going to be able to get out of there as soon as possible.


Here's the thing they don't tell people about detoxing from anything, "IT'S NOT GOING TO KILL YOU!". That is unless you're detoxing from alcohol which can cause serious problems for 1/10th of one percent of the people who quit or if you're coming off a substances like valium or lorazepam, which can kill you. The funny thing is those are the drugs the use to detox people from alcohol. Nothing wrong with that formula... right?


So I kept mostly to myself reading and doing yoga. Occasionally, they would take you upstairs to speak with a counselor, to find out what sort of rehab you would be interested in. I always told them, none, that I would deal with it when I returned home to the San Fran.


This pattern continued on for two days. I learned during those two that cigarettes and candy must be good for you, because everyone who was there detoxing from something else was allowed to smoke and eat sweets non stop with the staff. Couldn't quite figure that one out, save peoples lives by getting them off substances that are killing them, by allowing to them to continue to use substances that will kill them.


I also learned that for the Washington homeless detox facilities are kind of like Club Med. They even have their itinerary planned out, as to which facility was best to stay at and why. 


Anyway on the morning of day three I was sitting with a counselor again when I was called to go back downstairs at which point, I was informed that my insurance would not be covering my stay, as I was in Washington. Oh darn, I hate when that happens I was being forced out of a place I didn't to be at, having done nothing wrong and needing to go home for my insurance to work.


You'd almost think I planned it that way? I didn't, but it would give one pause for thought, considering.


Now one final hurdle to get over "Escape From Alca-Parents"